Words Screamed Too Late

I fell asleep to the thought of your Hazel eyes and soft porcelain cheeks. To awaken to a thought that I may never have you because I allow you to play me like I have done others so many times before.
I sit here, wondering, waiting, and even questioning if I have just been your little play thing. For the first time in my life I actually feel like a whore.
I am so disgusted in the fact that I am immobilized by you yet you take every chance you can to torture me so.
I am not blind or deaf and I treat you like a goddess so…
Why wont you choose me, I am actually fucking here. Not so goddamn far away.
I can hold you and see you every fucking day. Instead of sit on a phone and wonder what to say.
I am tired of this torture and don’t try to turn this on me. This is your doing cant you fucking see.
All this rage and pain is from your fingertips and knuckles buried into my skin, ripping the ventricles of my heart as you smile with pure and utter glee
Proud of the things you have done and the way you now have two people willing to do anything for you. Well FUCK YOU for playing me like a puppet you witch.
I am not like that I am not your little bitch.
You fucking choose and leave the other on the side of the road
As alive as I feel around you, I think I would prefer to feel dead all the time then the pain of dying knowing you are with her. Feeling my body break down and corrode
Fall apart from heartache that you have brought on so effortlessly.
Just please, before you and all your life becomes dead to me..